Rats! An Audiobook

“What time do you call this then?”

“You didn't write, you didn't call we were so worried.”
“Well, well, well. He's here Harry, standing in the kitchen bold as brass.”

“I'm just so relieved you're back.”

Just some of things I imagine you saying as you read this, my first Blog entry in over three months. Look here's the thing, I enjoyed writing the Blog but there is a finite number of brilliant ideas and the fact is I'd done all of them. As a creative force I was spent and didn't want to sully the quality of the Tedious Clown Blog by filling it with substandard noises and shapes.

Yet here I am.

I've spent the week at my parents house in Solihull and while I was here I came across (nosed through their possessions) some of my childhood stories.

Turns out I don't need to come up with any amazing new ideas, I'd already thought of loads aged 5-12! The quality of these stories is high. From holidays with mummy and daddy to the adventures of a particularly precocious dog it's a tour de force, a high mark of the late 90's literary canon. Due to bad luck, circumstance and a corrupt agent these works were never published at the time and have been languishing in a filing cabinet draw marked “crap that can't be binned due to emotional attachment”.

These works have been liberated and I am going to do a reading of at least one to be released in audiobook form, completely free of charge. If anything I feel I should pay you to listen to them.

I am also very aware that reading out childhood stories is quite an unoriginal idea, done most notably by Richard Herring on the Collings and Herrin/AIOTM Podcasts. What separates mine is that Richard Herring didn't get steadily pissed on European Lager as he read his out.

I don't know if this experiment has worked at all. If I get any positive (or really negative) feedback I may do the second half so let me know what you think!

Link: https://soundcloud.com/tedious-clown